


The Stages Of Grief

by Galaxi_Jane



Category: Aziraphale - Fandom, Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-22 10:01:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30036969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Galaxi_Jane/pseuds/Galaxi_Jane
Summary: A mourning Angel trying desperately to express himself after a horrible tragedy and a demon feeling an immense pain watching his Angel suffer and just wanting to help him forget everything. Their souls intertwine in the most beautiful of ways.I Do not own characters, the series, book or movie, or any images used. I only take credit for this fanfiction written and any original characters. Potential trigger warnings
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Kudos: 9





	The Stages Of Grief

~AZIRAPHALE POV~

Aziraphale felt it happen. He felt the pain like it was happening to him. He was on the verge of opening up up the bookshop for the day when he staggered to the floor. This had a tendency to happen whenever something horrific had happened. Whenever there was a large loss of life Aziraphale would find himself grasping for air. He'd find his body being ripped apart and his voice stolen away. Tears fell from his face in an agonizing sting.

He'd not felt anything this severe in centuries. He'd plead with the almighty to never feel anything like it again. He gripped his chest that knives stabbed into and with fierce reluctance let his angelic side separate from his body to witness first hand the disaster that could cause such a painful reaction.

His blood turned cold and his eyes widened. Why hadn't he been warned? He could've stopped all of this had heaven informed him. Had she informed him. He closed in on himself while closing his eyes and returning to the bookshop, sobbing on the floor.

This was a type of evil Aziraphale didn't know how to cope with. He'd been around evil before. Many times but usually he'd have his best friend around to help him. Right now, Crowley was somewhere on the other side of the planet, doing a task for hell. He wondered if the demon even knew about what had happened today.

As the angel mourned what had just happened, his eyes widened. Barely a few days ago, he'd gone to visit a beautiful woman. A woman heaven had wanted for their own. A woman Aziraphale had cared for from afar since birth. Her soul was amongst the most pure. 

Aziraphale remembered talking with her the last time he'd seen her. Laughing with her. Watching her feed the homeless and taking stays to the vet then to shelters. It was the first time he'd had the chance to meet her. At least so far as she'd remember.

Aziraphale understood in meeting her why heaven was so keen on her soul. She not only was of a greater amount of purity than Aziraphale had ever remember feeling from a human, but she was also one of very few humans to spread very purity to others.

In an instant, Aziraphale had miracled himself to her home. He banged on her door, praying that she'd answer.

"Rebecca! Rebecca, let me in!" The angel yelled out. He knew that she shouldn't even be home at this time. But he still prayed anyway.

He miracled the door unlocked and rushed in, flying through every room in the house. Until he landed in her most beloved room. He stepped in and walked up to her most prized possession. Her beautiful piano.

The Angel had known as he hovered his hand above the bare keys what her fate had been that day. The tears fell from his eyes as he sunk to the ground.

"I'm sorry." He sobbed, using the piano to hold him. "I'm so so sorry Rebecca."

\----------------------------------------------------------

~CROWLEY POV~ 

An intense feeling shot through the Demon's chest. He looked around, trying to figure out what had happened. He brushed it off. Still curious but not overly concerned. That was until about half an hour later when he felt a far more harsh version.

He gripped onto his chest. He leaned himself up against a glass window along the busy street he walked through. The burning sensation wrapped around his lungs. Slowly, the pain subsided. 

The demon let out a hollow breath before raising his head to look into the window. He'd intended to erase the memory of his episode from any onlookers, only to be rather surprised when there were none. They were all too invested in what was happening on the television at the back.

They had all completely stopped. Crowley wondered if time had been frozen. But as he followed their sights to the TV, he realised it wasn't time that had frozen them, but shock. His own eyes blew up at what he saw. And once he regained his thoughts, his fears turned to his angel. An angel who was so in tune with this world, that a disaster of this magnitude would be torturing him. Not only mentally, but physically as well.

Crowley didn't even think before Miracling himself back to his angel's bookshop.

"Aziraphale!" He called out as he entered. "Angel! You in here?" He could feel a faint trace of the angel's energy. The Angel hadn't been gone too long. Half an hour at most. Latching on to his Angel's energy, he followed it to a little suburban house. There was no doubt the angel was inside. But Crowley could feel his Angel's pain, even from outside. 

Slowly and quietly, he snuck inside and stopped halfway up the stairs as he heard the beginning of a beautiful melody.

It was dark. And sad. And full of an underlying agony. 

Crowley continued silently up the stairs until he could see the inside of a small room. At the back sat a very old looking piano with a quietly sobbing Angel who played the melancholic melody. Somewhere in the vaguest depths of the Demon's memory, he knew this tune.

With a sudden moment, the Angel stopped. Crowley could see Aziraphale's tear stained eyes staring at the higher notes. The demon seemed to realize that the Angel was expecting something that would never come.

The angel's sadness was contiguous. The demon wanted to cry just seeing Aziraphale in this state. 'Of course' he realised. The song was a duet. A duet that would never be finished.

So that was why the angel was here. Someone had died during the disaster that had befallen today. 

With a small miracle, Crowley gently demanded the piano to continue the song. Aziraphale was given a start by the playing notes. And as he heard the familiar sounds, he choked out a sob. And when his turn came again, he continued to play his part. 

The song gave life to the light and the dark. Crowley could hear the ache of the player, wafting through the notes that floated on the air.

Slowly and in a way that took away from the listener's souls, the song came to an end. For several moments Crowley watched as Aziraphale stared at the silent keys. The demon watched as droplets fell onto those very keys. And before he knew it, the Angel was broken down into his hands. His cries breaking the Demon's heart.

"She wasn't done yet!" Aziraphale cried. "She had so much more to live for!" The Angel curled in on himself. 

\----------------------------------------------------------  
~AZIRAPHALE POV~

The angel looked at the keys before standing up and leaving. He hadn't questioned how the piano had begun to play on its own. He'd seen stranger things than that in his lifetime. And honestly, he'd just assumed that the piano itself had known something was wrong.

Aziraphale had his bookshop shut down for several days while he mourned. He'd not seen Crowley since he'd left for Australia. Though he'd sincerely wished the demon was there. He knew he shouldn't, but Crowley was the only thing that made him feel better in a dark situation.

Aziraphale decided it was time to return to Rebecca's home. She'd been confirmed deceased this morning. The angel knew he had to go back. If for nothing more than the piano.

So as Aziraphale quietly shuffled into the room, he ran his hand along the top of the timber.

"I'm sorry," the Angel murmured, doing better at maintaining his composure than during his last visit.

"Maybe if I had've been more aware and less preoccupied, I could've saved her." He sat down at the keys and gently brushed his fingers along them.

With a deep breath, the Angel began to play. Staring low and soft before becoming powerful and filled with a rageful sadness. And why not? How could the almighty to take away someone who has done nothing but her will since the day she walked upon this Earth. The Angel was furious.

And as Aziraphale began to hate towards the God he'd been told to trust, the piano before him began to play, softening out his melody. Aziraphale sighed as he played alongside the ghost of the piano. 

Slowly the tune came to an end. Aziraphale understood. He knew it wasn't her that he was angry with. He was angry at himself. The Angel of the Earth. The only one who had the power to stop this. All of this.

"It's my fault." He whispered. After a few seconds, and to the angel's surprise, the piano began to play once again. A gentle and soothing melody. The type of song that would be meant to say 'it's okay. It's all going to be okay.'

And despite the keys speaking their own language, Aziraphale heard it. He could hear the piano telling him that everything was alright.

Once more, the Angel fell into the tears he'd sworn to hide today. Unable to take anymore, Aziraphale rushed out of the building.

\---------------------------------------------------------  
~CROWLEY POV~

The demon watched quietly as Aziraphale ran from the house. He sighed. He wanted nothing more than to be there for him. But after what the demon had found out, he wondered if Aziraphale would forgive him.

Until the demon could find a way to tell his Angel, he'd try to help from afar. He was too terrified to show his face right now. Too afraid that Aziraphale would send him away and tell him to never come back.

Crowley miracled himself to the bookshop where he hid quietly, watching as the Angel sobbed on his bed once more. It broke the Demon's heart and all his fears washed away. He couldn't sit idly by and watch his angel in pain.

The demon miracled himself onto the bed and before Aziraphale had even noticed, pulled the angel into his arms. Aziraphale just pushed himself further into the Demon's chest and continued sobbing.

Crowley quietly stroked the angel's hair, soothing him in the best way he could.

"Shhh. It's okay Angel. It's all alright." After what felt like forever, the angel's sobs turned to little sniffles before turning to silence. Crowley didn't say anything and just continued petting the angel.

"You're back from your trip?" Aziraphale lightly asked, not raising his head.

"Yeah Angel, I came back as soon as I heard." It wasn't technically a lie. The demon had come as soon as he'd found out, Aziraphale just hadn't known about it. "Did you know anybody?" The demon tried cautiously. Aziraphale nodded lightly. His eyes closed.

"Her name was Rebecca." The Angel murmured. "Her mother found out what I was while she was pregnant with her. She asked me to look after her. So I did. From a very young age. She was so beautiful and so talented." The Angel sobbed again."I wish I could've saved her. All of them" Crowley tightened his grip.

"You couldn't have Angel," the demon told him.

"If I had've..."

"No Angel. It wasn't possible." Aziraphale pulled back a little, looking at Crowley's eyes.

"Do you know something about this?" The demon could see fear in the angel's eyes. A silent begging that the demon didn't have anything to do with it.

"I promise, I didn't make this happen." Crowley reassured. Aziraphale let out a relieved breath and Crowley shut his eyes. "But..." Aziraphale tensed. He pulled back and looked at the demon.

"But what?" The Angel hesitated. The demon kept his furrowed eyes closed.

"This was hells doing." 

"You knew this would happen?" Aziraphale choked. Crowley's eyes snapped open.

"NO! No Angel no! I wouldn't. But that's why they sent me away. They knew if I found out I'd try and stop it." Aziraphale stared at him. "Aziraphale, I felt it on that day. I came straight back. I could feel a demonic presence at the sight. So I went down to hell to confront them. They told me they'd done it. Angel I'm sorry I wasn't here to stop it." 

Aziraphale looked down with a breath. Grateful that Crowley didn't have anything to do with it but knowing more than before that he himself was to blame.

"I was."

"Angel?"

"I was here. I could've stopped it. It's my job after all. But I was so distracted by my bookshop that I failed to realize until it was too late."

"Angel, you can't blame yourself for this." Aziraphale pulled away from the demon.

"I can. And I do." With that, the Angel left.

\---------------------------------------------------------  
~ AZIRAPHALE POV~

The angel had disappeared for several days. Wandering from place to place while he mourned. Eventually he found himself where it had all happened. He found himself volunteering to help the locals that day.

Eventually the day came to an end. The Angel was tired and in pain, both physically and mentally. He didn't want to go back to his bookshop tonight. He didn't want Crowley to comfort him. He didn't feel like he deserved it.

After a couple of hours walking through the streets, the angel eventually found himself in front of Rebecca's home. He looked up and made his decision. 

Sneaking in, he made his way once again to her music room. 

"When she gets to heaven, I pray they'll brandish her with a piano, just like you." With that, he sat down and begun to play. It was sad, but there was a nostalgia and acceptance to its tone.

In a quiet movement, the red haired demon slithered his way to Aziraphale's side, sitting beside him. As he watched the angel play, his long fingers lightly hit the keys and played alongside the angel. 

Silent tears fell from the angel's face as the two played the gorgeous melody side by side. Crowley and Aziraphale shared their moment together reminding each other through their song that no matter what happened in this world, they'd always be there for each other.

Quietly, the song came to an end. The two didn't raise their hands from the keys immediately, but remained in their thoughts, until the angel finally spoke.

"Thank you Crowley."

"For what?" Aziraphale lightly brushed the keys with his fingertips.

"You were there for me all along. No matter what I've had to face. No matter who I've lost. You've always helped me through it."

"Always Angel. Whenever you need me, I'll always be here." Aziraphale looked into crowley's eyes and ever so gently, removed his tinted glasses.

"I couldn't do any of this without you Crowley. My whole existence only makes sense because of you."

"Angel..."

"So long as you're with me Crowley, I know I can face anything."

"Come on Angel, let's go home. You can tell me all about her." Aziraphale lightly smiled at him, taking his outstretched hand. Before he'd pulled the Angel from the piano though, Aziraphale turned back and lightly shut the lid on the keys before looking at the calendar on top of the piano.

"It's not a date we'll ever forget." Crowley murmured. With that, the Angel retook the Demon's hand, and together they walked away, towards a better future.

Tribute to Rebecca Lee Koborie (48), who passed away during the tragic event of 9/11.

http://www.legacy.com/sept11/story.aspx?personid=111389


End file.
